you don’t have to look like a supermodel in your teenage years..

it really makes me upset how some teenagers get so insecure from seeing people their age on social media, comparing themselves to them and wishing they looked like them. first of all, social media is so fake. people just post what they want others to see. have you ever posted something that you didn’t want other people to see? no? exactly. that’s how it is for everyone else, and not to be rude, but i’ve noticed some of the people i know in real life post pictures of themselves and it’s kind of the complete opposite of how they look in person. not sure if editing is involved, but makeup and filters do change how a lot of people look.

i remember when i was 13 i saw a guy i liked follow a bunch of girls on social media who looked nothing like me. i remember how insecure i felt. i was obsessed with messing with my natural features, using makeup that didn’t suit me at all just to look like those girls. and for what? just for a guy to find me attractive? why would i not be myself because of that? why would i need others validation? i didn’t feel like myself at all.

i eventually found my own style of makeup and my own style of clothes that i feel comfortable in. you don’t have to look like anyone to feel pretty. you’re so unique with your own style and features. focus on what makes you comfortable, and remember that social media is the fakest thing ever. it’s not fair to yourself that you’re comparing yourself to something fake, and never change who you are for someone. experiment with your style for yourself, not for someone’s approval or to copy what’s trending <3

today i found out one of my favourite actors (rj mitte) from my favourite show breaking bad passed today, and it devastated and shocked me so much. he was an amazing and unique actor, because he didn’t let his disability prevent him from doing what he loves, and he was an amazing guy. it breaks my heart so so much that he took his own life. but depression is a terrible thing. it completely takes over your mind and gives you thoughts that convince you nobody cares about you, even when that‘s nowhere near the truth. it pains me so much that his negative thoughts won, but that doesn’t mean that he lost. he inspired many, and gave hope to people all over the world.

suicide prevention means everything to me because i know how awful depression feels. suicide prevention isn't even something hard to do. the smallest gestures matter more than we think and can really change someone’s life/future.

how you can help someone (and yourself)

check in on friends. even the goofy ones who are always joking around with you, because depression is good at hiding behind laughs and jokes. you could send one text saying "hi, i was just thinking about you and wanted to see how you're doing" it takes literally only five seconds, it’s something small, but could change someone’s whole mood.

small gestures. a hug or a smile, or just sitting with someone in silence, that’s suicide prevention. there’s no need to say anything at all sometimes.

if you’re having bad thoughts, don’t listen to them. depression is a big liar. it convinces you that you're worthless or that no one would care if you were gone. don’t listen to these thoughts and give someone a chance to be there for you.

if it gets too hard, talk to someone about it. i know opening up feels scary, but please talk to someone. anyone, even me. everyone would love to be there for you and you don't have to go through anything alone 🤍

i’ve had number own by hanbee on repeat for an hour now, still not bored of it. i love this song so much because it reminds me that it’s okay to be alone sometimes, and the song itself is just so comforting. also, in the middle of typing this, i just found out that hanbee was apart of a band called blee before she went solo, that’s really cool!

you are caring and you are kind

a friend who is hard to find

wherever in this world you may roam

in my heart you will always be home

i never knew i could have so much

until the day i felt your trust

whenever i see you roses rain from above

you always shower me with all your love 

i can’t exist without you in my life

the symphony of your love will always drive

a short poem i wrote about my best friend <3

today i asked some of my friends what are things they like and dislike about me, here’s what they said!

this is what my best friend said and it’s the sweetest thing ever. if you see this, i love you!! i could say the same about you. i’ll always be loyal to you, and you’re waaayyy funnier than me by the way. i try to be full of passion because it makes me happy. i don’t know if you were just trying to be nice by saying there’s nothing to dislike about me, but i also feel the exact same way about you. i can’t think of a single thing i dislike about you either. also you’re so right about me doubting myself, but i’m trying to push my negative thoughts away with positive ones (and you helped with that so much).

here’s what my other close friend said. he’s super easy to talk to too, and i love texting him random nonsense knowing he won't judge (or maybe he will but it's funny anyway). also, i’m not stupid.. i just act like it because it's funny 😁 and the being pushy part is something i definitely agree on. i’m only like that because whenever i’m free, for some reason i just assume everyone else is too and i want them to do stuff right away. it’s something i’m working on though, and i’m sorry to him and anyone else i’ve bothered with that!!

anyways, that’s all!! i actually wanted to ask more of my friends, but i was a little too shy to :-( if i end up asking anyone else i’ll just edit this post! i loved these answers though 💌

hii everyone! so today, i listened to a looooot of new music and i’m so glad that i did. i usually never give new songs a chance and just listen to the same ones over and over again, i ended up discovering some really nice songs and artists today though. here are the playlists that i’ve made (if anyone is interested)

open.spotify.com/playlist/3IVZGjtsOwbUa08ftikqId

open.spotify.com/playlist/22bGNgT414bgUxaK3E5Ktr

each playlist has a different vibe! i really love the songs in these playlists, and i had so much fun making them <3

i am so excited for winter!! 🌨️☃️🧣🧦 so excited to drink hot chocolates on cold mornings, wear my cozy sweaters, and put up the christmas tree! i’m not really an autumn girlie but i love winter. it’s my second favourite season after spring 🌷

a long letter to my comfort person 🤍

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hi guys. today my heart is very full and i just want to take a whole post dedicated to my most important person in my life, my best friend.

we've known each other for so long now and i cant even picture how did i manage to live before she came into my life. she was really one of those people who made a huge difference in my life the minute we met. i literally love everything about her. she is an amazing person to have as a friend. her energy is something so special and unique, the kind of energy which can warm the coldest of souls. the feeling of being with her is like going home after a long, tiring day. where everything that's been bothering you goes away as soon as you two start talking because her energy is so damn healing and embracing. no one in the world could ever understand me the way she does, not a single soul. she is also someone who can make me laugh even on my awful days when the last thing that i want to do is be around other people. even when i'm having the worst day of my life, she's always there to cheer me up. we laugh about everything, every single day, and i have a ton of inside jokes with her that make me laugh just thinking about. she brings so much joy and colour into my life, and my life just feels so much better whenever we spend time together. what i admire most about her is her loyalty as a friend. life can get so stressful and sometimes she's really busy too, but no matter how much is going on in her life she always manages to prioritise our friendship. she always tries to spend time with me. looking at our friendship, i'd say that i'm the luckiest person in the world that has ever met her. she's my safe place and my happiness. if you have a best friend who treats you like family and doesn't expect you to do anything for them, then you need to appreciate them more than anything else in this world. they love and care for you no matter what happens and they’ll always make time for you so that they can be there for important moments in your life.

to my favourite person, if you're reading this, i love you so so so so much. thank you for loving me on my good days and my bad days. i love everything about you, and i'm so grateful that ill get to spend the rest of my life beside you. you're stuck with me forever!! <3

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hi! last night i had a nice beautiful dream and i wanted to write it down here. in the dream, i had my own baby girl. she was so tiny and cute it felt so right holding her in my arms. i felt so protective over her and i didn’t let anyone else hold her. i wanted to give her the world in the first moment i saw her. i couldn't stop kissing her beautiful, adorable nose. she had her eyes closed the whole time, and i remember lifting her eyelids up gently to see if she had my eye colour or not (she didn’t but she still had the most beautiful eyes ever) in the dream, i named her pearl. i really wish i could’ve stayed in that dream forever because now i miss my baby so much :( but i guess now i know what to name my future daughter 🤍
so hi pearl, if you ever see this, this is how you got your name <3

 i took a quiz i found on pinterest and apparently
 this is what i smell like..

why social media lowkey sucks..

i feel like i have basically all the social media apps but the way i use them is so different now. i had to change the algorithm in my instagram to only show funny silly reels because i only want to use it when i need a laugh (and to text some of my friends ofc) tiktok is probably the worst social media app ever. whenever i'm on it, i always find myself comparing my life to other peoples which ends up with me being really upset and sad. also unsettling things randomly come up in the feed. i know it's the same for many people too who use it a lot, and that's why i've tried to make my own profile a nice and safe space for people who visit it. snapchat is another app i barely touch anymore. it's just very overwhelming for me i don't get how many of the people i know use it.

my favourite positive apps .✦ ݁˖

my number one favourite is pinterest! i've never felt anything but inspired when looking through my boards. it's so useful too for anything you want to look up. the comment section in it is not as toxic as other apps like tiktok and instagram, everyone is so nice. i've also been using medium a lot recently to read articles. it's a great app to feel motivated, productive, and to learn new things. for a non social media app, my favourite is quabble, it's a self care mental health app where you have your own little cute pet duck. the catch is that you have to take care of yourself in real life to keep your little duck healthy and happy in the app. it's so wholesome <3 (edit) how did i forget to mention spotify.. it’s the best music app ever! yesterday me and my friend used the start a jam feature for the first time and it was super duper fun. all music apps need to learn from spotify 🎶

so instead of using apps that use up your energy and make you feel bad about yourself you should consider trying out some of these positive apps. having a blog is also so much more calming :)

daydreaming my wedding day .✦ ݁˖

i don’t know if i’ve found my soulmate yet. some people say i have high standards, but i don't really think it's too much to ask for someone who is able to do the bare minimum?? i want a partner who is genuinely nice to me, loves to spend time with me, and listens to me when i talk about my interests (and tries to get into them just for me, because i would defo do for them) my love language is quality time, also i don't really care about looks. personality is what's important to me. maybe it'd be nice if they were tall with pretty brown or blue eyes, but that's not necessary. i just want a good heart.

i've done a bit of daydreaming about how i want my future wedding to be like. so here's what some of my thoughts have planned .✦ ݁˖

the proposal °❀⋆.

i'm not a fan of big showy things, so i want to get proposed to somewhere small and private, with no one else around, just the two of us. it could also be where we first met!! i also want them to propose to me with a trinket box instead of a velvet ring box, i think it'd be so so cute <3

the style and theme °❀⋆.

 for the clothes for our wedding, i'd like us to look nice and pretty in light pink, light green or beige. i also really really like the idea of a theme to our wedding, so that our guests could also dress in a similar way. if my future partner doesn't like this idea, it's completely fine, it's just an idea i had. also big weddings sound a bit stressful to me. i want something small with just the people we both know and love. (also i've already picked out my future maid of honour, so that part is taken care of)

the cake °❀⋆. 

i have one thing that is not negotiable for me. and that's a sylvanian families wedding cake! just imagine how cute it would be with the little critters as the cake toppers!!

if my future partner has any ideas that are better, i would love to hear them. marriage is a partnership, so me and my future partner are a team for life. but for now, this is what i like to imagine in my head while i wait for the right person to come. hurry up!! :(

i know i said i was obsessed with kpop but i’m kind of losing interest in it now :-(

it was fun stanning groups. learning members names, all their songs, telling their voices apart, and collecting albums. i think that was the most fun part about being a kpop stan. it felt embracing and like a safe space, it was such a magical time. but i’m not really interested in that many groups anymore. don’t get me wrong though. i still love kpop songs especially from le sserafim and txt!! i just think i don’t have that many interest in the other groups, and my music taste is seeming to change a lot. i remember someone told me that your music taste changes as you grow older, i guess that was true. aw man. young me is going to be so upset that older her doesn’t like kpop as much as she used to. sorry :(

as of now, i’m really into r&b or just pop. also been listening to a lot of deftones lately!

but anyways, le sserafim and txt always have my heart no matter what. they will always be my comfort artists even when i'm exploring new ones. 🤍

hi! this is my first post on here, and i decided to share some of my recent favourite songs and why i like them 🌿

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the first song is: nerves by dpr ian

i’ve had this song on repeat for 3 days now i really love the instruments played in it and ian’s voice is so amazing!! his voice really calms me down. the song makes me feel whatever he’s feeling and that proves how much of a good singer he is <3

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the second song is: times like these by addison rae 

i am really obsessed with her songs recently, she has a really unique voice and i resonated with this song specifically. i love relating to songs, it makes my listening experience so much better. like i can really feel the music. i love her latest album so much! she needs to drop a new one asap i’d be one of the first people to listen

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the third and final song is: karma police by radiohead

recently a good friend of mine recommended me listening to radiohead and i’m so glad he did. i discovered so many amazing songs by them, and they’re probably one of my favourite artists now. i love radiohead so much ❣️